anxiety
I'm pretty sure I've mentioned my anxiety a few times on this blog. It is to the point where I used to be on meds and have had panic attacks and such, but it's been better in the last two years or so. There have been no meds in me, on a regular basis, for awhile.
IVF and the uncertainty of pregnancy has not helped! I'm constantly worrying that the baby(ies) have died. I don't want to make any plans for Thursday, in case there is bad news. The reality of it is, though, that I would like things to do! At the end of last week, my nausea really picked up. It has seemed to wane a bit, which of course, gives me anxiety! I also feel like I don't have to pee as frequently/urgently, and I am not sleeping as much.
Today is 6w4d, and I hope those little ones are still growing and thriving. It still seems like forever until Thursday's ultrasound. I'm really glad I scheduled it for early in the morning, otherwise I think I'd go nuts. I also made it for a time that B could come with me so if it's good news or bad news, he'll be there to share it with me. He hasn't been a part of much of this process. He's been to the RE's office twice-- once for injection lessons and then for the transfer.
To help quell my anxiety, I'm thinking of renting a doppler if everything goes well on Thursday. My friend said she'd let me borrow her fetoscope, but that won't pick up the heartbeat until 19-20 weeks. The doppler would get me through from about 9-19 weeks. Will that just cause me more anxiety? I don't know.
Is it Thursday yet?
IVF and the uncertainty of pregnancy has not helped! I'm constantly worrying that the baby(ies) have died. I don't want to make any plans for Thursday, in case there is bad news. The reality of it is, though, that I would like things to do! At the end of last week, my nausea really picked up. It has seemed to wane a bit, which of course, gives me anxiety! I also feel like I don't have to pee as frequently/urgently, and I am not sleeping as much.
Today is 6w4d, and I hope those little ones are still growing and thriving. It still seems like forever until Thursday's ultrasound. I'm really glad I scheduled it for early in the morning, otherwise I think I'd go nuts. I also made it for a time that B could come with me so if it's good news or bad news, he'll be there to share it with me. He hasn't been a part of much of this process. He's been to the RE's office twice-- once for injection lessons and then for the transfer.
To help quell my anxiety, I'm thinking of renting a doppler if everything goes well on Thursday. My friend said she'd let me borrow her fetoscope, but that won't pick up the heartbeat until 19-20 weeks. The doppler would get me through from about 9-19 weeks. Will that just cause me more anxiety? I don't know.
Is it Thursday yet?
I'm sure all will go well on Thursday, but I do understand your anxiety. You interpret every sign that's there or not there and slowly drive yourself nuts! I think a doppler is a good idea, I bought one when I was pg; it is very reassuring that you can listen to baby whenever you feel worried. I bought mine on ebay and it was really cheap as the auction ended at some obscure time in the middle of the night - have a look, it might be cheaper than renting!
ReplyDeleteI know how hard this in-between time is; I feel for you Emmy! I highly recommend the doppler - it can be nerve wracking at first when/if you can't find heart tones yourself, but you do eventually and then it is sooooo reassuring to have and to use everyday. Can't wait to hear on thursday!! Only 2 more days!
ReplyDelete-ella
I've never been pregnant, but I'd expect that I'd be the same way! From what I've read, it seems these feelings are normal.
ReplyDeleteHope your appointment goes well!!
I felt the same way early on, I think it's natural for us IF'ers. The doppler is a great idea. I ended up buying once since it actually worked out to be a bit cheaper than renting one. The one I got was a Sonotrax and I got it off Amazon for ~$65. It was reliable from the time I started using it at 10 weeks. We made a weekly date on Saturday morning to check in on her =) GL Thursday, can't wait to hear all about it!
ReplyDeleteIt's almost Thursday!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI considered getting a doppler, but decided against it... I was worried it would cause more anxiety. After you start feeling the baby (I felt Bubs at around 16 weeks), you'll be poking your tummy to make sure everything is still okay in there -- no doppler necessary then!
Thinking of you this morning! Hoping all went well with your u/s!
ReplyDeleteWhen I finally do get pg, I am definitely getting a doppler. Yes, I have access to one at work, but I want to be able to reassure myself during the week, too.
I started having panic attacks in college and have taken meds on and off since then to control my anxiety. I am actually a little worried about how I'll be able to handle the anxiety when I do get pregnant. This infertility drama certainly hasn't made it easy! What have you been doing to keep your head screwed on straight? Do you have any tips or tools to share with the rest of us?
ReplyDelete