so close!
So Close: Infertile and Addicted to Hope is the first infertility book I've read. I still consider myself fairly 'new' in this process. After all, I haven't even had any infertility treatments! The first thing that struck me as I started reading was that I felt like I was listening to a friend tell me her story. I found myself relating to most of Tertia's thoughts and feelings.
Towards the beginning, Tertia mentions getting the feeling that getting pregnant was not going to be as easy for her as it is for others. I really got that feeling after my third cycle temping/using OPK, perfectly timed sex, everything. I was always worried that it would take me longer than I wanted to get pregnant. I don't quite know why, except for my thinking that I don't tend to get anything that I want, so if I really wanted a baby, that would be difficult as well. That third actively trying cycle is what really confirmed my fears. I thought that it was a problem with me-- since I have a short luteal phase. I promptly made myself an appointment with my gyn to talk things over. He condesendingly reviews how to make a baby and how to time sex. Yeah, thanks. Here are my charts. Three months later, B goes to his doctor for something else and asks for a semen analyisis, and we wind up where we are now.
Thank you, Tertia, for sharing your story. Your words and outcome is inspiring. Even if I have to go through all that you did, I hope to end up where you did too.
Here is a question for you. If you could tell the fertile world only one thing about your struggle with infertility, what would you tell them?
Don't forget to talk to the others at the party!
<I may add to this later, I'm late for work, but wanted to get this up asap!>
Towards the beginning, Tertia mentions getting the feeling that getting pregnant was not going to be as easy for her as it is for others. I really got that feeling after my third cycle temping/using OPK, perfectly timed sex, everything. I was always worried that it would take me longer than I wanted to get pregnant. I don't quite know why, except for my thinking that I don't tend to get anything that I want, so if I really wanted a baby, that would be difficult as well. That third actively trying cycle is what really confirmed my fears. I thought that it was a problem with me-- since I have a short luteal phase. I promptly made myself an appointment with my gyn to talk things over. He condesendingly reviews how to make a baby and how to time sex. Yeah, thanks. Here are my charts. Three months later, B goes to his doctor for something else and asks for a semen analyisis, and we wind up where we are now.
Thank you, Tertia, for sharing your story. Your words and outcome is inspiring. Even if I have to go through all that you did, I hope to end up where you did too.
Here is a question for you. If you could tell the fertile world only one thing about your struggle with infertility, what would you tell them?
Don't forget to talk to the others at the party!
<I may add to this later, I'm late for work, but wanted to get this up asap!>
I'm honestly not certain WHAT I would tell the fertile world. Except maybe that they can't POSSIBLY understand where I'm coming from without having walked in my shoes. Maybe I'd tell them to read Tertia's book...
ReplyDelete;)
Yes, Tertia's book would be a good start. : ) I guess I would say that it's very easy to judge, or to throw out opinions or solutions ("why don't you just adopt??"), if you haven't walked a mile or five in my shoes. And that I hope they will never have to do that.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to know what to say to everyone, as people seem to be in various places on the sensitivity spectrum. I might just tell them to think very hard before offering any kind of advice, and I would direct them to the section in Tertia's book (and/or accompanying blog post) on how to be a good friend to an infertile.
ReplyDeleteOh, goodness. For so long I have wanted to shout at the fertiles that surround me but now that I have been pinned down, I can't think of just what I would say to them. I agree with the above - mandatory reading of "So Close" would be a great start.
ReplyDeleteFirst, this is the first (second, if you count the 1 or 2 posts I read on my phone @ work before it quit working) time to visit your blog. I'm sorry we're both here, but it's also nice to meet you.
ReplyDeleteSecond... I would probably tell the fertile world not to take their kids for granted.