Thanks for the reminder, I hadn't thought of that!

Thank you, dear coworker, for calling and reminding me that today must be a sad day for me. I hadn't figured it out yet, and appreciate the information. I no longer have a father, a brother, and a husband who can be a father-- I had almost forgotten!

Father's Day 14 years ago was the last time this day passed where I didn't cry. I had a father then. And a grandfather for that matter. We were together on father's day in 1995. I recently looked at pictures from a camping trip we took around then, and came to the realization that I am the only one still living from that trip. How is that possible? I'm not even 30 years old, and everyone from a family trip 14 years ago is gone. How the hell is my 25 year old brother gone?

Even last year, I had my brother to hug and commiserate about dad with. Last year I foolishly thought that my husband would be a dad by this year and we'd have something to celebrate. Now that is something to add to the cry about list instead.

For the past several years, I have hosted a brunch on father's day for my FIL and step dad. I told them I couldn't do it this year. Now we are supposed to go to a BBQ at my brother-in-law's house this afternoon. I don't want to go. We have to leave in 2 hours and I can't get the tears to stop. Spending the afternoon with people that annoy me (BIL's wife and other BIL's girlfriend) is not sounding great. Time to put on a fake happy face.

If you have to fake it, how do you do it? Any tips?

Comments

  1. EllaJune 21, 2009 at 4:45 PM

    I'm so sorry, Emmy. I know it's a tough day for you, and you certainly didn't need to be reminded of it. :(

    (((HUGS)))

    ReplyDelete
  2. itsazooaroundhereJune 21, 2009 at 6:07 PM

    I'm so sorry this is a difficult day for you. I don't really have any advice about faking it, but I do hope the afternoon isn't too awful. Thinking of you.

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. LorzaJune 23, 2009 at 2:21 PM

    I am sorry Emmy. That really sucks. How didthe BBQ go? I personally have never really celebrated Father's day. I will always remember when I was about 8 and bought my dad a coffee cup that said world's best dad on it at school with my own money. About an hour after I gave it to him it was thrown up against the wall missing the target of my mother who had done something stupid to piss him off like make the eggs to runny or too dry.

    A large piece of me died that day b/c I realized it just didn't matter to him.

    I have always just ignored Father's Day- I call my mom, send her some flowers, or visit- but never actively think about my dad somewhere out in the world.

    That is my coping. I don't know what else to tell you- pay extra attention to your mom. She is missing her husband.....although it is now tuesday, and fat lot of good this does to help ya huh?

    Hope it wasn't too bad.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Parenthood For MeJune 25, 2009 at 1:35 PM

    I am sorry for all of your loss. How did the party go? Eventually i stopped going to things that made me want to cry in the bathroom. I hope you found a way to get through it okay.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousJuly 5, 2009 at 12:46 PM

    http://aliciacrowder.wordpress.com/

    ReplyDelete

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