mess

I've been doing pretty badly since yesterday. That lady I mentioned in my previous post, really picked the scab off of my wounds. I was up for a little over four hours after that post, putting me to bed as it was getting light outside. Even though I'm not working full time right now, I still had things to do so I had to get going fairly early. So, now I feel like a zombie and I am debating whether or not to take a nap. I am worried that I won't be able to sleep tonight. Although, I do have a few amb.ien left from an old prescription, which I forgot about last night.

I have another prescription medication for my anxiety. It help and it helps me sleep. It also makes me generally more lethargic. I eat more when I am on it, which is a problem. I have been trying (although not well recently) to lose some weight, and all of it will come back if I take this med. Being fat makes give me anxiety, so it is sort of a double edged sword.

Before meeting that lady yesterday, the drug was out of my system, I was exercising, I had a lot of energy, and I was making good progress around the house for once. Today, I am a big mess of tears. I don't know if I should take it or not. Maybe I'll see how today and tonight goes.

Unrelated, I want B to have the varicocelectomy. I haven't told him that that is what I want yet, or even brought it up. We've had a lot of other things to talk about recently. I also need to talk to him about sky diving. I want to go in two weeks, assuming he's okay with it. I need to let the people know soon. It might be too late already.

I wish I had magical powers.