It seems like part of this break has also been a bit of a break from the blog world!

B and I unexpectedly had a really nice weekend. We didn't really do anything other than projects around the house and some crafty things. But, it was really nice to work together towards a common goal and actually be successful. It's been a while.

We've been actively avoiding talking about IF, which is hard because of babies or people being pregnant EVERYWHERE. I don't remember what it was, but B said something that caught me off guard and fanned the mini flame of hope buried deep inside me. I just let it go

Unfortunately, the outward signs of the break don't transfer to my thoughts. Recently, the permeating thought has had to do with what to do with my life if kids are not in it. I live my life with a purpose. I am always trying to work towards something. I always expected the change to be from working towards having a baby to raising a happy, caring, loving, human. I can't even think of anything else.

Comments

  1. itsazooaroundhereAugust 17, 2009 at 7:27 PM

    I'm glad you had a good weekend - I love the idea of you two working toward a common goal or project (no matter how small). I think it's natural to start thinking about what life would be like without kids...we've all done it at certain points, I'm sure.

    Hang in there - thinking of you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. LorzaAugust 17, 2009 at 8:36 PM

    I am glad you had a good weekend. I have been thinking a lot about you girl. {{HUGS}}

    ReplyDelete
  3. JoelleAugust 17, 2009 at 8:52 PM

    I'm glad you had a nice weekend

    ReplyDelete
  4. To A TAugust 18, 2009 at 3:07 PM

    I'm glad to hear you had a nice weekend. It's so hard to just turn off thinking about IF and TTC ESPECIALLY when it seems like everyone around you is knocked up :(
    ((HUGS)) Hang in there hun!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. AlexicographerAugust 18, 2009 at 7:57 PM

    I don't know if this comment will be helpful or not. I struggled (a lot) to have a child but know that for those still struggling, hearing from those "on the other side" isn't always (often?) helpful.

    That said, now on the other side I do find myself struggling with one issue you mentioned, the "what now?" First I worked to finish college, then grad school. Find a job. Got married, raised stepkids (their "out of the house" years were not so far off, so that seemed like more of a goal, not that I wanted them gone but they were close to ready to fly and needed help doing so), started trying to get pregnant. That took years.

    Now what? I'm not complaining (at all), but just wanted to say that "now what" can be a problem no matter how your infertility journey is resolved.

    I hope, again, that you and your DH are able to get to a place where you can agree on a path forward that you both feel good about, and too, that it brings you the family of your dreams.

    ReplyDelete

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