The good talking continues! On Monday, we talked more about the scenarios we face and what we would want to do. This is what I think we would do... that is, of course, if donor sperm becomes ok with B!

We would schedule the IVF to start towards the end of my school year in June, trying to get the egg retrieval soon after the school year ends (a Tuesday this year!). B would have his procedure to look for sperm the day before the egg retrieval. If sperm are found, we will use all of his for all of my eggs. We have to give it our all with his sperm first, if there are any. If we do not get any embryos to transfer or freeze, or if none stick, we will go to donor IUI (with B's brother's sperm, assuming, of course it's all okay with him).

If there are no sperm, we will use B's brother's, again assuming it's okay with him.

Oh, and thanks to J for his post and advice. I think it really helped!

This seems to be the plan, at least for the moment. I hope it sticks, because I like it!

Comments

  1. NoelleOctober 21, 2009 at 7:08 PM

    I think your plan sounds wonderful. Especially the end of the year part. You will be able to sit and relax after your transfer, and best of all, you can spend your first trimester over the summer at home. I have heard that the first trimester is the hardest, so I always thought it would be perfect to spend it over the summer.

    I really hope that your hubby is good with using is brother's sperm. It sounds like he is getting closer and closer. That is very exciting.

    You will feel so much better once you two have a plan. You will have something to look forward to and something to plan for. That should help your depression tremendously.

    ReplyDelete
  2. mybumpyjourneyOctober 21, 2009 at 7:50 PM

    I am so glad that you are able to talk about this together! That is so good to hear. I pray they find lots of swimmers and the rest is a moot point. Good luck!
    This is my new ID with my new blog-my old blog-Baby Making Journey. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. CocoOctober 22, 2009 at 9:59 AM

    I, personally, think it's a really good sign that B is willing to talk about different scenarions! I think men sometimes have a really hard time imagining themselves in different situations so they just shut themselves out of them (that's what mine does, anyway). In my experience, talking through different scenarios is a good way for my hubs to gradually warm up to thing.

    Good Luck!

    ReplyDelete
  4. jrose35October 22, 2009 at 1:16 PM

    Awesome plan Emmy! I am so happy everything is going well for you both and you have plans in June for the procedure. I also believe the first trimester spent at home during the summer will be the most relaxing. You are in my thoughts!

    ReplyDelete
  5. JoelleOctober 23, 2009 at 5:58 AM

    I am just so happy to "hear" the happiness in your words. I will keep you in my thoughts!

    ReplyDelete
  6. J - azoowho@gmail.comNovember 6, 2009 at 7:52 AM

    Glad to see that you guys have a plan! L and I were so overwhelmed at first by all of the options, the procedures, the seemingly endless bad news, but once we had a plan that took us from "here" to "there" it made it so much easier to cope and deal with all the hard stuff.

    Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions about things I might be able to answer from the point of view of the "other" sex :)

    Good Luck!
    J

    ReplyDelete
  7. itsazooaroundhereNovember 8, 2009 at 9:40 AM

    Hi Emmy,
    Sorry I've been out of touch lately! I'm really happy that you and B have been able to work through some of the decisions and conversations about an upcoming IVF cycle. Hmmm, our stories might be even more similar if you use his brother as a donor backup. I do have some advice about that - mostly that there were many more steps than I expected with using a known donor. If you can talk with your doctor/clinic in advance that should give you time to go through the steps and save the extra money you might need. Once my BIL agreed, we had to get him blood tested (about $1,200 through private lab) and also pay for the actual donation/storage (I think about $600). Also, our clinic required that he and his wife to go counseling as well as me and my husband (separately) to get "approval". We paid for the counseling and that was about $600 total. They look for things like the closeness of the relationships, if the brother and his partner might feel possessive of the baby, and if the brother is already done with his own family-building. Anyway, of course my blog from this time last year has all the details, but if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask! I'm sure There's A Baby At The End...could also offer some good advice in this regard.

    Fingers crossed that you don't need to use the backup AT ALL!!
    xoxo, Betsy

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It's you!

"It's you!  I just know it!  You've lost some weight, it must be because of the morning sickness!" No, it's not me.  I'm not pregnant. "But is HAS to be you.  Who else could it be?  You just don't want to tell because it is too early" No, really.  It's not me.  I promise.  I haven't cheated on my husband.   "Well, who else could it be?" Um, one of the other 20 teachers of child bearing age at this school.  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I've guessed the other two pregnant teachers, before I even knew there were pregnant teachers at my school.  I have 'pregodar' (like gaydar, but for preggos) and really can sense the preggos around me.  I hadn't pegged a 3rd teacher, but I heard a rumor that there is a third when I started being hounded, and I think I have it figured out.  Its the one on her 3rd engagement and 3rd marriage in 5 years.  She's reaching the top of her realistic baby time, so it makes sense. 
Read more

plugging along

Image
There really isn't much to say at this point.  I'm plugging along, doing fine. Yesterday, I bowed out of a BBQ with B's family.  In May I mentioned BIL's ex and her "surprise" (planned) pregnancy.  One of the reasons for this BBQ was for BIL's birthday, and she decided to drive down to attend (she's still living 5-6 hours away).  She's like 26 weeks pregnant, and the thought of having to spend the day with her made me feel ill.  BIL isn't planning on living with her and the baby or marrying her, but will go visit often.  She is such an attention whore, I couldn't deal with her talking about the baby and flaunting the fact that she is still around because of it.  I've felt a little bit of a cold coming on, so I exaggerated it and stayed home.  I did end up throwing up my dinner, so I'm glad I didn't go. I felt a little guilty about skipping out on this, but I got over it quickly.  MIL was hoping that B and I would announce our
Read more

off with the crazies

Well, as expected, I had a pretty crappy Christmas.  Christmas eve was actually the best part.  We always celebrate on Christmas eve with my mom's side of the family.  That was actually fine.  Christmas day, not so much.  First, at my dad's side of the family lunch, I've never felt like such an outsider.  Christmas at the IL's started out fine.  BIL's dumb girlfriend decided to group each person's gifts in a pile, and we opened gifts one person at a time.  This took forever, and was kind of annoying.  For this group, we set up a gift exchange with B's brothers, so that we didn't have to buy for everyone.  I did the arranging for this, and think I did a good job.  I gave everyone opportunity to give input and include anyone else who was not included (didn't know if BIL's girlfriend was coming), compiled the responses, and sent out the information.  After all of that, B's brother went and got something for everyone, which really set me off.  Be
Read more