An email I got today

I got this email today.  I am so pissed at the person who sent it to me.  I don't know how to respond, or if I even should.  Argh!!  I don't know that I will ever be able to look at or talk to this person in the same way again.  I'm really upset because I liked this person, his spouse, and his daughter.  It's painful to anyone who has had difficulty having a baby or who has had to make any sort of decision about how to proceed, so read with caution.  If you're having a bad day, you might want to skip it. 

Want to Create a Human? WAIT JUST A MINUTE!

It can happen to the best of us. You see a cute, smiling baby in the market or post office. Or maybe it's a giggling toddler playing in the park. You take one look, and the next thing you know, you're walking down the baby food aisle at the local supermarket.
If you're like most of us, falling in love with a baby is easy. And no wonder! Sharing your home with drooling mini-you can be one of life's greatest joys. Babies give us unconditional loyalty and acceptance, provide constant companionship, and even help relieve stress after a hard day's work.
Creating a new human, though, is big decision. Babies are living beings who require lots of time, money, and commitment - over 18 years worth in many cases. Parenthood can be rewarding, but only if you think through your decision before you reproduce.

Things to Consider

The fact that you're thinking about making a new person means you're a responsible and caring person. But before you make that final decision to bring a tiny human into your life, take a moment to think about these questions:

Why do you want a kid?

It's amazing how many people fail to ask themselves this simple question before they reproduce. Having a baby because it's "the thing to do" or because mom's been pining for a grandkid usually ends up being a big mistake. Don't forget that children may be with you 18, 28, even 38 years.

Do you have time for a baby?

Children cannot be ignored just because you're tired or busy. They require food, water, exercise, care, and companionship every day of every year. Many children are in the foster care system because their parents didn't realize how much time it took to properly care for them.

Can you afford a child?

The monetary costs of parenthood can be quite high. Medical care, food, cleaning, toys, diapers, clothes, school, and other expenses add up quickly.

Are you prepared to deal with special problems that only a child can cause?

Broken household items, accidents before and during toilet training, and unexpected medical emergencies are unfortunate but common aspects of childhood.

Is it a good time to make a baby?

If you already have a baby, for instance, you might consider waiting a few years before making another. Problem-free baby care requires parents and other family members who are mature enough to be responsible. If you're a student, in the military, or travel frequently as part of your work, waiting until you settle down is a wise choice.

Are you living arrangements suitable for a baby human to live in?

Bringing a baby to share your loft or rented room, for example, is not a good idea - s/he likely won't have enough space to move around in, and giving her/him enough exercise will require a bit of activity on your part. Many living situations - both the physical residence and the social dynamics of those already living with you - aren't safe or healthy to bring a baby into. Make sure you know what restrictions there may be before you have unprotected sex.

Do you know who will care for your child while you are at work?

You'll need either reliable friends, family, or neighbors, or money to pay for a baby-sitter.

Will you be a responsible parent?

Keeping your baby healthy and clean, obeying community safety laws, and keeping your child's identifying records safe are all part of being a responsible parent. Of course, giving your child love, companionship, exercise, a healthy diet, and regular medical care are other essentials.

Finally, are you prepared to keep and care for your baby for his or her entire lifetime?

When you create a baby, you are making a commitment to care for the person for his or her lifetime.

Have a Baby for Life

Sure, it's a long list of questions. But a quick review of neglect, abandonment, and adoption issues - as well as the societal struggles associated with overpopulation - will help you understand why answering them before you get pregnant is so important.
Many of the children in orphanages and the foster care system are the very young victims of irresponsible people who allowed themselves to breed - children of people who didn't think through the responsibilities of parenthood before they did the nasty.
Please, don't make the same mistake. Think before you have sex. Sharing your life with a child can bring incredible rewards, but only if you're willing to make the necessary commitments of time, money, responsibility, and love - for the life of your child.

Adapted from a publication of the Humane Society of the United States


Should I respond?  This person knew vaguely that B and I were having difficulty getting pg, but nothing more than that.  Still, I feel like just asking him not to send me anything like that again.  I don't know.  Maybe it was harmless.