a, b, or c?
Ok, well, we did it. We asked. It went about as well as we could have hoped. He listened and asked a few questions.
We started by telling him that we had a question for him and that we didn't want/expect an answer tonight. We also presented the three answer choices we would like to hear by next Tuesday.
a) Yes, I'd love to be your kid's father
b) No way
c) I haven't decided yet, but I am willing to start the process to become approved
First, he said that he needs time to think, as we expected, but that he will let us know within the week. Then, when I clarified the answer choices and what they would look like, he said that right now, his answer is c. That made me so happy. I think he will lean towards the yes side, but I am trying not to get my hopes up.
The one thing that he said that made my day, was that he felt that this is 100% his decision and that he will not discuss this outside of our house. I love him for this.
The other thing that is so great about 'our' relationship, is that after this conversation ended, we really naturally started talking about other lighter things, and moved on with a fun evening. I should be in bed right now, but I am so wired and so relieved to be done with this. I'm so excited to sleep tonight and eat tomorrow.
I swear, I have hardly eaten anything in the past two days-- hopefully a boost on the last 10-15 pounds I want to lose. I have changed my original weightloss goal, from 35 pounds to 40-45 pounds. I know that seems strange, but I am down more than 30, and 4 more just doesn't seem good enough. Of course, I just want to be healthy, and I know I look good compared to what I used to, but not compared to normal people. I really think I can do 10 more, but thinking that I am only 2/3-3/4 done is a little hard.
I still need to pick a doctor for me. I have an appointment with a 3rd RE on the 26th. If you remember, doctors 1 and 2 had totally different opinions. I still might see RE #4, who I may be able to get a discount from. It's a lot to deal with!
My biggest concern now, is that we have not given enough time for B's brother to be approved as a donor. B's doctor said that their cryobank would need to quarantine the 'specimen' for 6 months, but the my doctor said that their lab probably wouldn't need that since they are all in house. I really really want to go forward in June-- hopefully with an egg retrieval a few days after the end of the school year.
The cost is going to be ridiculous. I don't know how we are going to do it. I found out today, that B's procedure will be a little over $2K more than I thought. I don't know that I can increase my tutoring to cover that extra. I don't know what to do financially. It sucks. Hey, you wanna lend me some money so I can have a snowball's chance of conceiving?
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue"
~ Bonus to the first one to get the quote!!
We started by telling him that we had a question for him and that we didn't want/expect an answer tonight. We also presented the three answer choices we would like to hear by next Tuesday.
a) Yes, I'd love to be your kid's father
b) No way
c) I haven't decided yet, but I am willing to start the process to become approved
First, he said that he needs time to think, as we expected, but that he will let us know within the week. Then, when I clarified the answer choices and what they would look like, he said that right now, his answer is c. That made me so happy. I think he will lean towards the yes side, but I am trying not to get my hopes up.
The one thing that he said that made my day, was that he felt that this is 100% his decision and that he will not discuss this outside of our house. I love him for this.
The other thing that is so great about 'our' relationship, is that after this conversation ended, we really naturally started talking about other lighter things, and moved on with a fun evening. I should be in bed right now, but I am so wired and so relieved to be done with this. I'm so excited to sleep tonight and eat tomorrow.
I swear, I have hardly eaten anything in the past two days-- hopefully a boost on the last 10-15 pounds I want to lose. I have changed my original weightloss goal, from 35 pounds to 40-45 pounds. I know that seems strange, but I am down more than 30, and 4 more just doesn't seem good enough. Of course, I just want to be healthy, and I know I look good compared to what I used to, but not compared to normal people. I really think I can do 10 more, but thinking that I am only 2/3-3/4 done is a little hard.
I still need to pick a doctor for me. I have an appointment with a 3rd RE on the 26th. If you remember, doctors 1 and 2 had totally different opinions. I still might see RE #4, who I may be able to get a discount from. It's a lot to deal with!
My biggest concern now, is that we have not given enough time for B's brother to be approved as a donor. B's doctor said that their cryobank would need to quarantine the 'specimen' for 6 months, but the my doctor said that their lab probably wouldn't need that since they are all in house. I really really want to go forward in June-- hopefully with an egg retrieval a few days after the end of the school year.
The cost is going to be ridiculous. I don't know how we are going to do it. I found out today, that B's procedure will be a little over $2K more than I thought. I don't know that I can increase my tutoring to cover that extra. I don't know what to do financially. It sucks. Hey, you wanna lend me some money so I can have a snowball's chance of conceiving?
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue"
~ Bonus to the first one to get the quote!!
Airplane!
ReplyDeleteEmmy, that's so cool about your talk with BIL. I think you're right to get your hopes up! It sure sounds promising that he's willing to get procedures started while he thinks some more about it.
And well done to your weight loss, I am in awe and if you can do those extra 10lbs, go for it! :-)
haha, anna beat me!
ReplyDeletei'm so glad that it went well! i was thinking about you last night, wondering about this, and came to check first thing this morning!
~carly
Yay Emmy! I'm so excited you finally had the talk and that your BIL sounds willing to go through with it.
ReplyDeleteOh, and that quote is totally from "Airplane"
That is great nes tat he is so willing to think about it!
ReplyDeleteYAY I am glad that everything went well for you. The money is a stressor but I am sure it will work out!
ReplyDeleteI am happy that he is open. I am wishing a YES answer for you guys!
Wow. That sounds really really hopeful! I'm so excited and happy for you and to have that weight gone off your shoulders.
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you on the Re's, been to 2 so far who had confilicting opinions on to #3 on the 20th.
Hoping his answer will be a solid Yes.. but so far it sounds good.
Awesome, sounds like your chat went as well as these things can be expected to. Keeping fingers crossed for you guys.
ReplyDeleteEmmy, this sounds fantastic. He is willing to think about it, so that is a major plus.
ReplyDeleteAbout your weight loss, that is also fantastic and you should be proud. You didn't say how overweight you were to begin with, but I would focus more on getting to a healthy weight as determined by your doctor, rather than just because you feel like it. Women are so hard on ourselves with our weight.
YAY! I'm so excited that the dinner went so well. It's nice to be able to talk about it with BIL and then transition back into your regular conversations -- it kinda reinforces your decision, at least it does for me. I so hope that everything gets going soon. It's good to hear your RE thinks you'll be able to get everything cleared with the clinic by June. We asked for an exemption from the 6 month quarantine, so hopefully you can too! Congratulations as well on your weight loss. How wonderful that you've almost reached your original goal and are working towards an even greater goal! You can do it!
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome news! I was thinking about you last night and wondering how it was going. I'm so glad that he's willing to think about it. It sucks that money always has to be the issue when it comes to something like this. I'm sure it'l all work out though!
ReplyDeleteGreat news. I'm glad that things went smoothly! Keep us posted on how things progress.
ReplyDeleteThis might be bad financial advice, but do whatever you have to do. If you have to put it on a low interest credit card or take out a loan, do it. Explore your options.
I don't remember if I said this before, but if you want a weight loss buddy, I'd love join you! That's about my goal too.
Emmy, this is such hopeful news for you and B!!! I am so glad you are feeling so much better (and can start eating again!). WTG with your weight loss goal - that is a great thing to do before pgcy! :)
ReplyDeleteYAY Emmy that is SO exciting. I'm glad things went as well as they did. Don't let yourself get too caught up in the money. As cliche as it sounds things like this have a funny way of working out. Keeping my fingers crossed for that "Yes".
ReplyDelete