determination- updated
Since the news of BIL's ex being pregnant, I've gone through a mess of emotions. It is so extra frustrating because so many people warned him that she is the type of person who would stop bcp to keep him, and he didn't believe any of us. I've moved from wishing her ill-will to wishing/hoping/praying for the best possible situation for BIL, whatever way that might play out. It makes me feel like less of a horrible person. I don't think she knew that he's our donor backup, as BIL didn't want to tell her. Whether or not she snooped and found something, or overheard something somehow, I don't know. I only hope that BIL doesn't get stuck with someone he doesn't love for the sake of a child. He and the baby deserve a better life than that.
This whole thing has made me even more determined to get pregnant. I know it isn't the best reason, but it's pushed my apprehension to the back burner, and determination to the front. AF should come at the beginning of next week, at which point I'll start bcp for some days before starting stims. I'm hoping to start stims June 14th or 15th. The legal stuff is just about done, and the meds have been ordered. I just hope my body and Dr.'s office cooperates.
Thanks for all of your support!
Update to address anon's comment: The majority of my frustration is on her, because of how she manipulated him and her birth control. He IS a victim of her underhandedness. We've (husband, ILs, friends) been upset with him for a while for staying in a relationship with someone he doesn't love and who lies. We are pissed at him for this too- thinking with his little head. He is definitely partly to blame for this as it takes two to tango-- I just don't want him to spend the next 18 years miserable in a loveless relationship because of it. She does not bring out the best in him. That won't be a good model of a relationship for the kid either. He is a stand-up guy and will do right by his child (if it really is his)-- I've never doubted that. Yes, the baby has no choice in the matter, which is something I wish SHE would have considered before making the choice that she made. If he weren't the great guy that he is, we'd never have wanted him to be our donor backup.
I hope that everything works out for the best with your BIL, and that he doesn't make any more stupid decisions. Keep that determination on the front burner - perseverance is KEY! You don't have too much longer until the ball gets rolling - only 17 days! I'm sending you lots of warmth.
ReplyDeleteI do want to say that my BIL(our KD)'s wife is also pregnant right now, and sometimes it's kinda hard sometimes to wrap my brain around, but not that it puts any sort of shadow on my love for this little one inside me.
Yay, another buddy! We'll be starting stims on 6/7. Best wishes and hope it works out for the best with your BIL.
ReplyDeleteGood for you, Emmy - turning your frustration and anger at the situation into determination. The situation still sucks, but at least you aren't letting it control you. I'm so excited that your IVF cycle is so close!!!
ReplyDeleteIt has to be SO frustrating to watch someone like that get blessed with a pregnancy. You're doing the right thing by hoping for the best for your BIL and focusing on your upcoming IVF. Wishing you TONS of luck!!!
ReplyDeleteShe sounds like a real winner and I understand your anger and frustration but he has responsibility as well. Painting him as the "victim" may allow you the safety of putting all your anger on her but does not erase the fact that he continued to be involved with a very unstable person. Unfortunately the baby now has no choice in the matter.
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