etiquette question

I've got a question or two for you.  Please be honest.  

1.  If you are invited to someone's baby shower and you can't/don't want to attend, do you have to send a gift?  

2.  After being invited to that same person's baby showers, do I have to invite her to mine?  

Clearly, I am not a fan of this person.  She is not a good person and I am at a loss as to what to do.  A part of me wants to be the better person and send the gift, but not invite to my shower, and another part of me feels like that lets her "win."  Argh!  

Comments

  1. KellyNovember 23, 2010 at 8:43 AM

    As much as I know it can be difficult to do what is the right thing when we don't care for someone...I believe the right thing to do is to send a gift if you were invited. I don't believe however, that you have to invite this person to your shower, you can invite whoever you want to your shower. There's my two cents.

    ReplyDelete
  2. babyattheendNovember 23, 2010 at 9:15 AM

    I say no and no based upon the fact you don't really like her. You can always say congrats if you see her in person, gifts aren't necessary.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Holly E. G.November 23, 2010 at 11:30 AM

    I'd say no, you don't have to buy a gift. If that were the case, it be a little selfish or insensitive of the inviters. What if you couldn't buy a gift for whatever reason (like financial.) It just wouldn't make sense to HAVE to buy a gift just because you received an invite. If you were going to the shower, on the other hand, then it'd be rude to not bring a gift.

    I don't think you need to invite them to your shower either, people understand that it's not like "returning the favour." Showers can get expensive, with the cost per person, etc. It's like weddings. Some are big and some are small. Although, now that I think about it, if it's well-known that you're having a big shower, and THEN you don't invite the person, then their feelings might be hurt.

    ReplyDelete
  4. JuliaNovember 23, 2010 at 4:19 PM

    I would send a card along with a small gift that doesn't cost more than $5. And no, you don't have to invite her to your shower.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hastings FamilyNovember 23, 2010 at 6:08 PM

    It depends. If they are family then I'd send a present if financially able (receiving blankets) and not invite to yours. Your's is about your day and don't invite someone you don't want there. If this person isn't family or someone close then I would send a card of congrats and a cute note for baby (i still have all the cards we got for my boys) and leave it at that.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Saffron ViolaNovember 23, 2010 at 6:10 PM

    My mother always said, IF you were invited and you can't go, you still should send a gift, she says it's the right thing to do. Does not have to be much, even a $5 gift card, it sufficient. I don't feel that you should have to invite her in return. Hope this helps!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. momDecember 30, 2010 at 2:55 PM

    I know you don't know me, but I think it is more important to be true to your self than to spare the feelings of someone you really do not care for. Really some people will invite you to a function just to get a present even if they don't like you. You didn't ask her to invite you and she has to have some idea that you don't care for her, and if she doesn't maybe now is the time for her to find out so you too don't have to be together in social situations if you don't want.

    ReplyDelete

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