Dealing
How do you deal with all of this? What are your tricks? Does it get easier/harder? What do you do when you are having a particularly bad day?
We are still a little over a week until our urologist appointment. Thank you very much for the comments posted below about things to consider. It is just so difficult to think about where we go from here.
DH hopes that magically there is going to be something that they can do to "fix" him and that we will still be able to conceive the old-fashioned way, but from what I've read, that doesn't seem very likely. It looks to me that our chance could come from IVF/ICSI or donor sperm. Currently, DH won't even consider donor sperm. He doesn't want it to be my kid with some random person. I asked about a known donor-- like one of his two brothers. He wouldn't hear any of that either.
I want a baby. I want a family. This is not as important to DH. He knows it is important to be and is willing to do what we need to do, within limits. I just can't hear of another person getting pregnant or having a baby or anything. I just want it to be me.
We are still a little over a week until our urologist appointment. Thank you very much for the comments posted below about things to consider. It is just so difficult to think about where we go from here.
DH hopes that magically there is going to be something that they can do to "fix" him and that we will still be able to conceive the old-fashioned way, but from what I've read, that doesn't seem very likely. It looks to me that our chance could come from IVF/ICSI or donor sperm. Currently, DH won't even consider donor sperm. He doesn't want it to be my kid with some random person. I asked about a known donor-- like one of his two brothers. He wouldn't hear any of that either.
I want a baby. I want a family. This is not as important to DH. He knows it is important to be and is willing to do what we need to do, within limits. I just can't hear of another person getting pregnant or having a baby or anything. I just want it to be me.
How I deal with IF depends on the day, the weather, if I've eaten or not, etc. ;) I usually talk talk talk, but sometimes (recently), I've become a hermit. Take things one moment at a time if you need to.
ReplyDeleteI remember my husband going through these same feelings you describe. At first, he was wanting to get to the bottom of what the problem was so we could fix it. Then when we couldn't fix it, he wanted to bypass the problem (IVF with ICSI) and when that didn't work, then we moved to donor (a known one, as you suggested). He wanted to try with his "little guys" first because he knew that if he didn't he would always wonder "what if".
Remember: one step at a time. That way you can feel confident about what you know, and what you still have to learn can come in small doses so it's not so overwhelming.
Hang in there,
Leslee
babyattheend
It will take a while to digest all of this and if will depend on the day as to how each of you is reacting. My husband wanted to everything possible. Then one evening when we were trying to figure out when to do the TESE to see if there was any sperm in there to work with he blurted out that he wanted to try using an anonymous donor. I was shocked because up until that point he wouldn't even discuss it. I know others that took a long time to come to final decision because there are so many emotions and issues that come with all of these options.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Leslee - take it one day at a time!
Oh hun, I think we have ALL been there...with those same thoughts. Sometimes they are stronger than others. Hell, after 3 years of TTC#2, I still feel that way.
ReplyDeleteMy Dh has many of the same feelings as yours...it's tough too. I hope you can both come to an agreement (and that you get GREAT hope at the appointment)
One day at a time...there are going to be really, really bad days, and great ones, too.
ReplyDeleteBirth/Pregnancy notices are the hardest. You will soon learn how to deal with them in your own way. I can't tell you how, because it has to come from you.
Partners do like living in denial. My hubby is up to the stage where he is finally coming to the realisation that it might never happen " 100% naturally" for us (after 3 years, mind you! Head in the sand much?). I came to that realization long ago!
You will do fine.
Lots of hope sent your way!
Jo
here from icomleavewe,I wish I had a magic wand or that computer in hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy. I wish I had answers for you and myself. Unfortunately there is just the waiting and more waiting and then one day a miracle. May you find your miracle soon. Good Luck!
ReplyDelete