nerves

Well, today is the first official "you have no sperm" appointment with the urologist.  I am SO nervous, even though I think I pretty much know what is going to happen.  I have an anxiety issue-- so bad at times that I vomit, like during the first dance at my wedding, but that is another story!  I expect dr. to inspect B's junk (as he refers to it) and to look at the lab tests, and to schedule a testicular biopsy (assuming no blockage is palpated).  Then I'll have anxiety about that for a while. 

With my job security so up in the air right now, I don't expect we'll move forward with IVF anytime soon, not that we can afford it anyway... 

Oh, please let it just be a blockage somewhere that can be cleared out.  Please, please, please, please, please.  Pretty please, with a cherry on top?  Hopefully this day will just fly by!  Ha!  I'll update after the appointment (4pm PST).  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It's you!

"It's you!  I just know it!  You've lost some weight, it must be because of the morning sickness!" No, it's not me.  I'm not pregnant. "But is HAS to be you.  Who else could it be?  You just don't want to tell because it is too early" No, really.  It's not me.  I promise.  I haven't cheated on my husband.   "Well, who else could it be?" Um, one of the other 20 teachers of child bearing age at this school.  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I've guessed the other two pregnant teachers, before I even knew there were pregnant teachers at my school.  I have 'pregodar' (like gaydar, but for preggos) and really can sense the preggos around me.  I hadn't pegged a 3rd teacher, but I heard a rumor that there is a third when I started being hounded, and I think I have it figured out.  Its the one on her 3rd engagement and 3rd marriage in 5 years.  She's reaching the top of her realistic baby time, so it makes sense. 
Read more

plugging along

Image
There really isn't much to say at this point.  I'm plugging along, doing fine. Yesterday, I bowed out of a BBQ with B's family.  In May I mentioned BIL's ex and her "surprise" (planned) pregnancy.  One of the reasons for this BBQ was for BIL's birthday, and she decided to drive down to attend (she's still living 5-6 hours away).  She's like 26 weeks pregnant, and the thought of having to spend the day with her made me feel ill.  BIL isn't planning on living with her and the baby or marrying her, but will go visit often.  She is such an attention whore, I couldn't deal with her talking about the baby and flaunting the fact that she is still around because of it.  I've felt a little bit of a cold coming on, so I exaggerated it and stayed home.  I did end up throwing up my dinner, so I'm glad I didn't go. I felt a little guilty about skipping out on this, but I got over it quickly.  MIL was hoping that B and I would announce our
Read more

off with the crazies

Well, as expected, I had a pretty crappy Christmas.  Christmas eve was actually the best part.  We always celebrate on Christmas eve with my mom's side of the family.  That was actually fine.  Christmas day, not so much.  First, at my dad's side of the family lunch, I've never felt like such an outsider.  Christmas at the IL's started out fine.  BIL's dumb girlfriend decided to group each person's gifts in a pile, and we opened gifts one person at a time.  This took forever, and was kind of annoying.  For this group, we set up a gift exchange with B's brothers, so that we didn't have to buy for everyone.  I did the arranging for this, and think I did a good job.  I gave everyone opportunity to give input and include anyone else who was not included (didn't know if BIL's girlfriend was coming), compiled the responses, and sent out the information.  After all of that, B's brother went and got something for everyone, which really set me off.  Be
Read more