enie meanie minie mo
I don't know what to do regarding the RE and stuff. As I said, I think I like Dr. 2 better in terms of protocol, more personal attention, and things. But, I also think that I would like to be checked out, to make sure everything is good with me. My CD 3 bloodwork came back on the way to the airport. My FSH was 7 and E2 was 60, which seem pretty good from the limited research I did. Even though Dr. 2 said he did feel the need to run tests, he said he would if I wanted to. I am thinking of a sonohysterogram to ensure that my uterus is a suitible habitat for a dividing, implanting blastocyst.
I still go back and forth about whether I want have a baby at all. One moment I think, I can still start this with good timing with respect to the school year if I go right now. And, another moment I think I don't want to take the risk. It's the angel and the devil sitting on each shoulder wispering in each ear. With Dr. 2, I can go in for a day 21 baseline u/s on Aug. 8th and start the lupron, probably have to skip sonohysterogram, but maybe not. I am not working (except 2 days a week, for 2 hours in the afternoon) so I am easy to schedule. Part of me wants to just jump. Did I mention that I was going to go sky diving, but didn't because we went on this vacation? We can borrow a little money from B's parents if we want to do this. They offered it up when we said it would be a while until we had enough. They actually offered to give us some, but I would feel more comfortable making it a loan. Instead of my savings plan, it will go to their repayment. Well, maybe a little less for a little longer ; )
I want B to be ok with donor sperm. I really want a child. I just don't know how to get him there. Right now, clearly, I am in one of those, "I want to do it now!!!" moods. Part of me wants to really try to get it started this cycle, which would put baby due around my birthday in late May (with #2's no b/c pill protocol). How do I get him okay with this? How do I decide what to do? How long will it be before my mood swings the other way? How many consecutive questions can I ask?
I've got lots to do in the next few weeks! (get windows in house replaced!, sew 4 magician's capes, figure out what the deuce to do with IVF, and many other tasks around the house and yard) Where does the summer go?
I still go back and forth about whether I want have a baby at all. One moment I think, I can still start this with good timing with respect to the school year if I go right now. And, another moment I think I don't want to take the risk. It's the angel and the devil sitting on each shoulder wispering in each ear. With Dr. 2, I can go in for a day 21 baseline u/s on Aug. 8th and start the lupron, probably have to skip sonohysterogram, but maybe not. I am not working (except 2 days a week, for 2 hours in the afternoon) so I am easy to schedule. Part of me wants to just jump. Did I mention that I was going to go sky diving, but didn't because we went on this vacation? We can borrow a little money from B's parents if we want to do this. They offered it up when we said it would be a while until we had enough. They actually offered to give us some, but I would feel more comfortable making it a loan. Instead of my savings plan, it will go to their repayment. Well, maybe a little less for a little longer ; )
I want B to be ok with donor sperm. I really want a child. I just don't know how to get him there. Right now, clearly, I am in one of those, "I want to do it now!!!" moods. Part of me wants to really try to get it started this cycle, which would put baby due around my birthday in late May (with #2's no b/c pill protocol). How do I get him okay with this? How do I decide what to do? How long will it be before my mood swings the other way? How many consecutive questions can I ask?
I've got lots to do in the next few weeks! (get windows in house replaced!, sew 4 magician's capes, figure out what the deuce to do with IVF, and many other tasks around the house and yard) Where does the summer go?
IVF is an extremely stressful and intensive process. It's natural to be apprehensive about starting it. I don't have any advice, but I hope you can find peace with your decision.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm glad to hear you had such a great time in Hawaii!
Donor gametes is hard, and it takes a LONG time to accept and mourn the loss of your own egg or sperm. I lost my option of carrying a child, and it was and is devastating, and it took at least 6 months for me to even be relatively okay with it, I could not imagine how hard it would be to become okay with donor eggs (or is your case donor sperm) give him time and support.
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