Roller coaster

I feel like I am on a roller coaster ride. Just when I feel like I am on an upswing, I get thrown back down and my stomach lurches into my throat. I guess I should be grateful that I have upswings. There was a while there where I really wasn't. I'd be okay if the track smoothed out a bit.

Today will be hard. I have 30 people coming over for a bbq. Many of them with their babies. If it were not a goodbye party for my best friend who is moving out of state, I wouldn't be doing this. It doesn't help that a girl that drives me nuts heard about it and invited herself as a guest of one of my friends. I really hope I don't lose control and punch her in the face. Hopefully cooking for all of these people and dealing with entertaining will keep me busy enough.

I've been really withdrawn from most of my RL friends these past 9 months and haven't seen most of the people coming today for over a year. I know there is going to be a lot of, "When are you planning on having kids?" "You have such a great house for kids, when is the little one coming?" I think I need to have a beer or something clearly alcoholic with me so that no one has to wonder. It's gonna be a long day.

Comments

  1. NoelleAugust 22, 2009 at 1:05 PM

    I am so sorry. I have become withdrawn from friends and family as well. I don't go to get-togethers anymore, and I can't even be around babies. I feel like everyone is always staring at me when someone's baby is around or someone makes a pregnancy announcement (I miscarried and everyone knows). Didn't you say that you were a teacher? I am dreading going to the first staff meeting on Monday, and I just know that this lady is going to announce. It will kill me.

    Can you take a tranquilizer to get through your barbeque? I think I will be taking some next week. By the way, I want to thank you for your blog, because you had mentioned going on your depression meds, and that made me realize that I needed to give in and go back on as well. You really made a difference for me.

    I hope that the barbeque goes quickly for you. ((HUGS))

    ReplyDelete
  2. LorzaAugust 24, 2009 at 12:54 PM

    oooooo, you are doing the blogger bingo!! I really really wanted to do it, but I know with this house buying CRAP I really won't have time to do it.

    I am sorry about your roller coaster ride- that just really sucks. How did the bbq go? I am sorry that your IRL friend is moving. That really stinks.

    You know me- alcohol!! WOO HOO! I hope that you had a great bbq.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AlexicographerAugust 24, 2009 at 1:14 PM

    Ugh. Well, perhaps you can get through by muttering the line from Fried Green Tomatoes (most appropriate if this is a true BBQ in the way we use that term in the US South): "The secret's in the sauce." So handy. Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  4. MissyAugust 25, 2009 at 4:06 PM

    I hope you made it through the BBQ OK. Thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete

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