test

I've been hit by overwhelming sadness.  My BFNs have destroyed me more than I thought possible.   The past seven days have been incredibly emotional and life changing in ways that have nothing to do with making babies.  We are now unemployed, moving, and filled with uncertainty in nearly every aspect of our lives.  As horrible of timing as pregnancy would have been with all that the past week has brought us, it was my glimmer of hope.  My hope that something good might actually happen.  The part about trying again has also been taken from us.  We can't very well put money into fertility treatments when we have no more income.  I think that is where it stings the most.  If I knew that we could just try again in a month or two, I think I would be handling this better.  We also got news, less than two weeks ago, that our donor is most likely done helping us.  September would have been the last month for him to help, but now I guess it's done.  We do have about 10 mil. sperm on

On Saturday, I really felt pregnant.  I was so sure that I was.  Yesterday, I didn't feel it at all and was so sure that I'm not.   The clinic told me to test on the 26th, but I knew there is no way I could hold out till Thursday to test.  With my IVF cycle, I got my first BFP at 11 dpo.  It was light, but it was there.  Today, my test was clearly negative.  I can see where the second line should be, but there is not even a hint of color.  I know that 11 dpo is early, and all of that, but I think I am out for this cycle.  I'll take the progesterone for another few days, but all signs point to this cycle as a bust.   I'm taking this a lot harder than I thought I would.  A lot has changed/happened in the last 2 weeks, and I don't know if/when we'll be able to try again.  And as much as everything that has hit the fan in the last week makes the timing extraordinarily bad, it would have been a nice beacon of hope.  I'll keep testing until AF shows (which sho

It's official.  I am in the 2ww.  My second 2ww ever where I actually have a chance to become pregnant. Our drive went really well, and it has been nice to be back at my old clinic.  I didn't realize how much cheaper it is than the one I've been going to in our new state.  It is so much cheaper, that I could get a round trip flight to go to the old one and still save money.   My monitoring scan on Tuesday showed 4 mature follicles, which the doctor was very pleased with.  He asked if we would reduce if I got pregnant with triplets or more, and I said yes.  I promised B when we first started that twins was the highest number I would want to carry.  He said he could stick a needle in and drain two of the follicles if I wanted, though he said the chance of triplets was less than one percent.  I think we'll be lucky to have one baby stick around and make it, let alone two!  I'd be thrilled with twins though!   I triggered Tuesday afternoon, and had an IUI Wednes

My baseline monitoring went well, although I was quite frustrated with the experience.  My home clinic wrote the wrong date on the order form, so we had to wait for them to open to get new orders sent.  Then the monitoring clinic was having network issues, so couldn't get the fax my home clinic was trying to send.  I was stressed about getting home and relieving B of parenting duties so he could get to work.  Eventually it got straightened out, and I was only about 15 minutes later than I told B I would be.   Everything looked good, so we got the go ahead to start.  They counted around 17 antral follicles, which is good.   Today is my 4th day of clomid.  So far it hasn't been horrible.  Just headaches and slight nausea.  I've also had some twinges in my lower abdomen-- hopefully lots of follicles growing.  Tomorrow is my last day of the 'mid, then I start the gonal-f!  I'll go to my home clinic on Tuesday to check to see how the ovaries are doing, trigge