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Since starting TTC, I've gained 20 pounds. Yes, 20. That is two clothing sizes on my body. I was never 'thin' to begin with. I've always hovered around the top of the healthy weight for my height. I do know that a lot of that has been because of athletics and and the muscles that I carry, but this right now is ridiculous. I've past healthy for my height. What is interesting is that I still consider myself relatively 'fit.' I've been swimming a mile before work (it takes me about 40 minutes), I have the stamina for an hour aerobics class, I can hike with husband for 40 minutes going up and down and not be too out of breath (except for that last hill at the end), yet I've put on so many pounds! Is this excess bagage keeping me from a BFP? I've cut down what I eat, I've tried to be more active, yet I stay the same or go up. Should I get my thyroid checked? Any suggestions?

Well, I think that "freak week" is beginning. This part of my cycle always stresses me out. I worry that we won't have good timing, and I stress about BDing enough or too much and whatnot. Now that I am working again, it is a lot harder than before. I'm just so tired at the end of the day, but I know we need to do it. I guess we'll see what happens! I've lost any optimism that I even had for this. It almost feels like just going through the motions until it's been long enough that my doctor will see me. Ugh. Time to get my freak on.

Each day is filled with choices. We are constantly making choices that affect our daily lives. Some are mundane like what to wear for the day, eat for lunch, do when you get home, etc. Others carry more meaning: Do I say that to this person? How do I react to what he said to me? Should I still be friends with this person who has hurt me time and time again? Do I leave my partner? Should we buy this house? A few years ago, while visiting a winery, the person tasting next to me asked the wine maker what the best wine they had was. I'll never forget the response. He said "The best wine is the one that you like the best." I can't help but relate that to my thoughts on the more significant choices we make. The right choice is the one that makes you happiest. I've really been trying to live by that and support people in my life when they do things that I don't necessarily agree with. If it is what makes you happiest, then that is the right choice for y...

As you may or may not know, my cousin had a stillbirth about 5 years ago. She was full term and went into labor. When she got to the hospital, they told her the baby was dead and she had to deliver her. It was a horrible thing for my family to go through. Please repost this in any/all of your blogs to help spread the word and make the incidence of this more well known. The more information we can learn about why this happens, the more we can prevent anyone else from experiencing such a travesty. Thanks in advance!! Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day: Take Action October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the United States. More than 25,000 children are stillborn in the United States every year leaving mothers, entire families and communities devastated. Estimates of the rate of occurrence of stillbirth make it at least as common as autism. Stillbirth is not an intractable problem. Greater research would likely significantly reduce its incidence, but go...

So, we decided a while ago that we wanted to expand our little family. I mean, we have this big house (4 bedrooms) just for the two of us! So, I stopped BCP in February so we could TTC. So, we started trying. And here we are now, many months later with nothing to show for it! I am getting really frustrated! I know that we haven't been trying that long, in the scheme of things, but I never thought thought it would take this long. It makes me so sad. Why do we have the inability to get pregnant?

So, I've decided to start a blog. I plan for this to be a place where I can vent about my troubles and frustrations and hopefully some joys as well. I really am quite happy with my life and feel really and truly lucky for what I have and have created for myself. There is really only one area in my life that is leading to much frustration and angst for me-- infertility. So, I guess that is what this is. A place for me to talk about my struggles and journey trying to get pregnant. I love comments and thoughts and ideas, so please feel free!!