nerves

Well, today is the first official "you have no sperm" appointment with the urologist.  I am SO nervous, even though I think I pretty much know what is going to happen.  I have an anxiety issue-- so bad at times that I vomit, like during the first dance at my wedding, but that is another story!  I expect dr. to inspect B's junk (as he refers to it) and to look at the lab tests, and to schedule a testicular biopsy (assuming no blockage is palpated).  Then I'll have anxiety about that for a while. 

With my job security so up in the air right now, I don't expect we'll move forward with IVF anytime soon, not that we can afford it anyway... 

Oh, please let it just be a blockage somewhere that can be cleared out.  Please, please, please, please, please.  Pretty please, with a cherry on top?  Hopefully this day will just fly by!  Ha!  I'll update after the appointment (4pm PST).  

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