confessions of a former ttc'er #2

Since the azoo diagnosis, I haven't felt sexually attracted to my husband. I feel guilty about it and wish that it wasn't the case. We probably still do it 2x a week, but I know B wants more. I wish I did too. I love him with all of my heart and soul.

I don't know. I don't know how to fix it. I wish it were not so. Any suggestions?

Comments

  1. Somewhat OrdinaryMay 8, 2009 at 7:46 AM

    Oh, I'm so sorry you are feeling this. I think for us it was the opposite. After the diagnosis my husband became a little less interested and I sort of tried to overcompensate. I don't have any suggestions. It probably isn't that you aren't attracted to him. Infertility is so stressful. Not only does it cause sadness it puts a lot of pressure on sex. Now that you know you aren't going to get pregnant by having sex you've maybe brushed it off.

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  2. wereyoulookingformeMay 8, 2009 at 7:59 AM

    I can sympathize with you on this - though in our case it seems like both our sex drives have gone down. I think we're both depressed and I am hoping we can get things going again. IF is so hard on relationships - my only a$$vice is give it time and, w/r/t sex, do it even when you don't quite feel like it. (So easy for me to say - I totally don't practice that, so feel free to disregard!)

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  3. CocoMay 8, 2009 at 8:27 AM

    If you figure it out be sure to let me know! I pretty much hate having sex all the time now. Stupid IF

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  4. VA BlondieMay 8, 2009 at 9:01 AM

    After our MF IF diagnosis, we did go through a period where we were not having sex as often because our sex drives were not there. I knew it was important for Hubby, so we did get it together. After a while, and after the initial shock wore off, we actually found it sort of freeing. Sex is not linked to fertility and conception anymore. It gave us some permission to play in bed, and just enjoy each other. We could have sex anytime and anywhere and any way we wanted. That was a pretty fun realization.

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  5. AshMay 10, 2009 at 2:15 AM

    I find that reading a book or doing something else to get me aroused and then immediately initiating can help when I am not in the mood. Otherwise just doing it even if you don't feel like it can help to get back into a rhythm that you might have lost.

    I am sure it is just a temporary thing though!

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  6. itsazooaroundhereMay 11, 2009 at 7:06 PM

    I'm sorry. This is definitely a big issue for IFers, and I think male-factor can add some additional stress. I don't have too much advice, except that I loved this article/answer from Mel a while back. An interesting way to think about things, and maybe get them kick-started:
    http://stirrup-queens.blogspot.com/2009/01/barren-advice-twenty-six.html

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