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I have been away from blogging for a little bit.  Aside from the little cutie, we have been busy!  We found out a few weeks ago that B's company is relocating this summer and we either go or B is out of a job.  I got a pink slip again this year and the chance of rehire is looking slim (yay California budget) so it makes sense to move.  All of our family lives within an hour of us now and we bought our house thinking we would be there a long long time so this is really hard.  We will be moving to a different state and will be a full day's car ride away.  Prepping for this decision has been stressing us out and keeping us busy. There are not many jobs in B's industry around us, but he did get another offer from a big name company in Seattle. Still a big move. The little cutie is doing great though.   She was phenomenal on her first plane ride and through an entire day of house hunting in new city.   She smiles,  especially when we cal...

There are so many infertility myths, but this one has been coming up a lot for me recently.  This one is similar to the, "As soon as you adopt, you'll get pregnant" myth.   Sure, people do adopt and get pregnant and people also get pregnant on their own after IVF, but that is certainly not the majority of cases.  Nor will it be the case for us. My OBs are even guilty of spreading this one.  They (husband and wife team) had to use IVF to get pregnant the first time and they did miraculously get pregnant on their own soon after.  A few times during my pregnancy, one of them would ask how many kids we were hoping for, or make a comment about postpartum birth control.  I always said that we have no need for birth control and they would respond, "You never know what might happen!"  Um, yes I do.  A surgery exploring my husband's testicles couldn't find a viable sperm to use.  I don't think we will magically get pregnant.  And if we do, which really woul...

About a year and a half into our relationship, B and I broke up.  The defining issue was children.  I wanted them, he did not.  Neither of us were willing give on this issue.  His main reason was that he didn't want to be responsible for ruining a child's life.  He didn't think he would be a good father.  The break up lasted two weeks.   I promised to help make sure he would be a good father and agreed to one child rather than the two in my original life plan.  Fast forward five years and we decided to start trying.   It was a push to get B to agree to kids all those years ago, so naturally I was worried about having problems conceiving and how B would handle it.  I hadn't realized how excited he had gotten about having a little one.  I never imagined that our problem would be zero sperm.  B immediately said that he was only okay with having kids if they were biologically his.  We worked with different doctors and came up with our plan.  Sperm retrieval the day befo...